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Marriage Boot Camp: Bridezillas Vol. 1 of 8
I won’t waste your time bringing you up to speed on the back stories of these five lovely couples who went from Bridezillas altar to Bridezillas marriage counseling in breaking-Mach-one speed. Please...
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Bridezillas: Dezjuan and Ariel
Bridezilla Dezjuan is “such a diva.” She’s 23, and she gets what she wants. What she wants includes Tyler, 22, who she met in high-school detention. What she wants also includes Tyler wearing a rubber...
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Marriage Boot Camp: Bridezillas Vol. 2 of 8
Well, here we go again with another episode of “people who got married on Bridezillas are now seeking marriage counseling on reality television.” Sense I’ve gotten since the last post was that several...
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Marriage Boot Camp: Bridezillas Vol. 3 of 8
Oh for fuck’s sake. They open the show’s preview with one of the guards putting a gun on the table after saying, “Think your life’s worth saving?” Wait. It’s a paintball gun. There will be a life...
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Bridezillas: Amanda and Dezjuan [Updated w/ Zilla response]
We start this week’s with Bridezilla Amanda, to whom we’re introduced while she yaps about how everything’s bigger and better in Texas. Because that’s, apparently, what anybody from Texas is force to...
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Bridezillas: Dekeydra and Amanda
Bridezilla Dekeydra Bridezilla Amanda We shouldn’t judge books by covers. This much is true. But if I was going to judge the Book of Bridezilla Dekeydra by its cover, the 12-word review would be as...
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Marriage Boot Camp: Bridezillas Vol. 4 of 8
When we get reacquainted with our 10 American heroes, fake-Twitter-follower enthusiast Rob is shaving his armpits, and Kirsten is yapping at Seth to start showing her some more public affection...
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Bridezillas: Joriane and Dekeydra
When they first show Bridezilla Joraine, she’s wearing a wedding gown and screaming into a phone. Then she says the theme of her wedding is “Better Than Yours.” She’s marrying — well, incarcerating...
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Marriage Boot Camp: Bridezillas Vol. 5 of 8
Chris at the moment he tells Debbie Gibson, “What are you talking about? I’m the best dancer in there.” This week’s episode of #BZBootcamp starts with fake Twitter-follower enthusiast Rob Maaddi...
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Bridezillas: Amanda and Joraine
At the onset of this latest episode of Bridezillas, newbie Bridezilla Amanda of Ocala, Fla. compares herself to a lizard (in the looks department) and threatens to torch everyone and everything. Her...
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Bridezillas: Miyesha and Amanda
If you want to know how Miyesha set the Bridezillas speed record for credibility loss, one needn’t look further than the first quote out her mouth after they show her booting the TV crew out of the...
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Marriage Boot Camp: Bridezillas Vol. 7 of 8
WALK THE PLANK, BRO This week’s episode starts where last week’s left off: The couples banging the night away with all those toys and costumes and whatnot they got at David Carradine’s Sex Shop. I’m...
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Bridezillas: Stephanie and Miyesha
First thing I noticed about this week’s Bridezillas episodes were Stephanie‘s boobs, because as you can see from the lead-in shot (which expands if you click on it, of course), Stephanie was bouncing...
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Marriage Boot Camp: Bridezillas Vol. Finale
The most damning aspect of the #BZBootCamp season finale is this: The biggest drama that producers/contestants/show-runners could concoct was… • The guys going out, getting fruity-shot hammered the...
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Bridezillas: Taneema and Stephanie
Sweet mother of mercy, not two seconds into this week’s Bridezillas, they show Bridezilla Taneema getting lifted up at Logan Square, which is actually a circle in Philadelphia. It’s right next to the...
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Bridezillas: Krystal and Stephanie
Bridezilla Krystal is a baller. She, her nose ring and half-dozen crucifixes were all, like, to groom-to-be, If you miss this shot on the court, you’re gonna do, like, 60 situps or pushups or...
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Bridezillas: Evelina and Krystal
Meet Bridezilla Evelina. She’s a rather attractive “Polish-European princess” who’s marrying some guy named “Levi” who she met “at the mall.” When asked if it “was love at first sight,” a dual...
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Bridezillas: Evelina and Yovanna
Meet Bridezilla Yovanna. Her real name is Gail. She’s batshit. Rick says he liked Yovanna because of her fat ass. Yovanna says she was drawn to him because she thought he had money. She slaps him in...
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Bridezillas: Aleshia and Yovanna
Bridezilla Aleshia, a hill person, is described as toxic and intolerable within the opening minute of the show. She says she never feels the need to apologize for anything ever. She’s marrying...
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Bridezillas: Sofia and Aleshia
There was a moment when I thought that Bridezilla Sofia was charming. It was after they cloak-showed the work her bosom doctor had done, but before she explained how she would ask her man, every...
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