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Marriage Boot Camp II: Season Finale
That horrible lady has a knife. Well now it all makes sense. Two years of watching this — I don’t know — nearly-depraved Marriage Boot Camp show. Guess it was obligatory since I watched all them...
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Marriage Boot Camp II: Episode Nine
Lie detector don’t lie, but one of these two do. It was only a matter of time before Marriage Boot Camp: Bridezillas went full-on Maury show. With this week’s episode’s reliance on lie detectors, we...
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Marriage Boot Camp II: Episode Eight
Jump, Bridezilla Sofia, Jump! It’s the morning after the night when sassy puppet shows led to fornication throughout the Marriage Boot Camp: Bridezillas Mansion. Or did they? Seem to be some...
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Marriage Boot Camp II: Episode Seven
When you have a son pushing four, you may very well watch a lot of Bob the Builder and Jake and the Neverland Pirates and the like. What I’m worried about is the Bootcampeteers talking sex via...
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Marriage Boot Camp II: Episode Six
This here episode of Marriage Boot Camp Bridezillas is titled “Spouse Swap,” but it’s not as swinger-eyes-wide-shut randy as one might think. Less key party. More voyeuristic trickery. I mean, sure,...
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Marriage Boot Camp II: Episode Five
Alright, so they lead into tonight’s episode by showing all them Marriage Boot Camp contestants running through a backyard maze, but it seems like trash bags lining the walls instead of ivy or stone....
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Marriage Boot Camp II: Episode Four
Any time a reality-TV episode starts with a scene that reminds you of Martin Sheen blasting his fist through a mirror in Apocalypse Now (sans punching a mirror with The Doors scoring that jawn), you...
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Marriage Boot Camp II: Episode Two
If Rockwell’d been into low-rent reality shows… Somehow, I ended up trading Tweets with Shaun and Sofia, and Blanca, and Mai-Lee this afternoon. They all seemed a’ight. I reckon I stop calling Shaun...
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Marriage Boot Camp II: The Introductory Prelude
It seems like yesterday when the first season of Marriage Boot Camp: Bridezillas filled Philly Blunt’s world with joy, courtesy of some decent people and others who bought Twitter followers to make...
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Bridezillas: Megan & Willaura
Meet Bridezilla Megan, who will enter trivia lore by being the type of Bridezillas whose one-episode appearance just happened to be the show’s last-ever episode (pour one out for tha homies who were...
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Bridezillas: Willaura and Adrianne
When you first meet Bridezilla Willaura, you instantly wish you hadn’t. She thinks she the “hottest socialite in Atlanta.” I pray, for the sake of the men in Atlanta, that she isn’t right. Because...
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Bridezillas: Adrianne and Angela
Hey look, it’s the first Native-American Bridezilla in show history! Her name is Bridezilla Adrianne. She’s marrying a cat named Waylon. That is a great name. He kinda looks like Vili Fualaau. “It’s a...
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Bridezillas: Angela and Mai Lee
The first thing you’ll notice about Bridezilla Angela is her breastuses jiggling while she sit dances in the limo. That’s what the producers of Bridezillas intended they opened this episode with...
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Bridezillas: Mai Lee and Roxy
You turn on Bridezillas, see the name Mai Lee and suspect the name is pronounced like Miley, thus instantly expecting a twerkfest will ensue. But no. It’s more like May Lee and she’s nothing but anger...
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Bridezillas: Ariane and Roxy
Well I’ll be damned. The first of two new Bridezillas didn’t register on the DVR last night. Luckily, the final moments of said episode appeared. Here’s what Aunt Sherrye had to say to drunken Bride...
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Bridezillas: Ariane and Ashley
I don’t know whether the DVR didn’t record one of two new episodes last night, or whether obnoxious Bridezilla Sofia and meatbag Sully were just contained to a single episode that ended short last...
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Bridezillas: Sofia and Aleshia
There was a moment when I thought that Bridezilla Sofia was charming. It was after they cloak-showed the work her bosom doctor had done, but before she explained how she would ask her man, every...
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Bridezillas: Aleshia and Yovanna
Bridezilla Aleshia, a hill person, is described as toxic and intolerable within the opening minute of the show. She says she never feels the need to apologize for anything ever. She’s marrying...
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Bridezillas: Evelina and Yovanna
Meet Bridezilla Yovanna. Her real name is Gail. She’s batshit. Rick says he liked Yovanna because of her fat ass. Yovanna says she was drawn to him because she thought he had money. She slaps him in...
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Bridezillas: Evelina and Krystal
Meet Bridezilla Evelina. She’s a rather attractive “Polish-European princess” who’s marrying some guy named “Levi” who she met “at the mall.” When asked if it “was love at first sight,” a dual...
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